Working with the public and on a blog for several years has taught me something about myself…I have a handicap of sorts….I have an awful poker face!
I used to think that having a poker face was only useful when playing the game poker…lol silly, I know…shows you what I know…or don’t know.
Well it seems that a poker face is needed every day…
Like…
at church…’how are you?” – activate poker face ‘fine, thanks’
at work….’you are an idiot’ – activate poker face ‘ thank you, have a nice day.”
you get the idea…I didn’t…lol took me so long to learn the lesson…or is it a game? I still don’t know. Maybe I haven’t learned the lesson/game after all…do I really want to? not so much.
God tells us to let our yeses by yes and our nos be no…right? does that mean the same for our expressions? dunno…
I am not a good liar…never have been…give myself away every time…besides that my memory is not good enough to keep up with all the twists and turns lies create…lol you should see me trying to read a mystery novel…have to take notes to keep up. lol
Got me into a lot of trouble at work. My poker face deficiency would give away what I was thinking every time…if I was board, it would show, annoyed it would show, amused -yep, there it was shining brightly across my face….Nothing fans the flames of an angry customer faster than a giggle from the person they are yelling at and trying to intimidate…it struck me as funny and I could not for the life of me engage that poker face…thought he was going to hit me, I really did…
I started thinking I should try to put on a poker face…that is what professional, respectable people do, how they act, right? so … I figured out how to get that poker face…a mask…that will work, right? wrong…I lost myself behind it…not a good thing when you already struggle with liking yourself…made me like myself even less…and as it turned out was just a lie in disguise.
I was starting to believe their thoughts of me…that I was not good at what I did…but you know what? They are wrong! I am good at what I do…and do it the best I know how. I brought a lot- A LOT- to them…where ever God has me at the time I always do my best…and it is good.
I am not a proud, boastful person by nature…but this I am sure of…I succeeded at my job…I was there just over 3 years and I know without a doubt that I made positive impacts on everyone I interacted with and that they will be hard pressed to replace me. I am proud of what I accomplished there.
Now on to my next adventure!